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Lead, Follow, or Get the Hell Out of the Way

Lead, Follow, or Get the Hell Out of the Way
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There are quotes that sound cute on coffee mugs… and then there are quotes that actually punch you in the chest. “Lead, follow, or get the hell out of the way” is the latter.

It’s a line credited to Thomas Paine, but it’s been repeated by Soldiers, CEOs, coaches, and anyone who has ever had to make real decisions when real consequences were on the line. It’s simple, it’s blunt, and it forces a level of clarity that most professionals try to avoid: What role are you actually playing?

Most people drift through their careers without answering that question. They waffle. They hesitate. They want the influence of a leader, the comfort of a follower, and the responsibility of neither. They want outcomes without ownership. Progress without pressure. Praise without contribution.

That’s why the quote still matters today, because indecision is killing performance everywhere you look.

Here’s the thing nobody wants to say out loud: Spectators slow everything down.

Spectators sit in meetings with no intention to contribute. Spectators complain about decisions they never had the courage to make. Spectators second-guess leaders while never stepping up themselves. Spectators follow only when it’s convenient and disappear as soon as it’s hard.

In Special Forces, you don’t get to be a spectator. Everyone team member plays a role. Everyone contributes. Everyone either leads something, follows something, or moves aside so someone else can move the mission forward.

But in business? We’ve somehow decided that showing up is the same as contributing. Newsflash, it’s not. Organizations don’t fail because they lack talent. They fail because too many professionals think they can occupy space without choosing a lane.

Your indecision is someone else’s obstacle. Lead. Follow. Or get the hell out of the way.

Leadership Is Not a Position, it’s a Decision: People love the idea of leadership. They crave the title, the authority, the LinkedIn announcement. But leadership isn’t glamorous. It’s pressure. It’s being wrong sometimes. It’s making decisions without perfect information. It’s being accountable when everyone else gets to be anonymous.

Leadership requires three things most professionals shy away from (which I call the 3 Cs):

Courage (C1): Not movie-style courage. Real courage. Being willing to be first, to take the punch, to own the consequences. Leadership requires stepping into the unknown. And most people prefer the comfort of commentary from the cheap seats.

Clarity (Cs): Leaders show people where they’re going and why it matters. That means communicating with precision, not jargon. Explaining decisions. Setting standards. Enforcing them. If you mumble, meander, or hide behind corporate jargon, you’re not leading. You’re confusing the field.

Consistency (C3): Anyone can lead for a day. Leaders show up every damn time. They show up when it’s boring. They show up when it’s stressful. They show up when everyone else is losing their minds. Leadership isn’t a Monday morning LinkedIn post. It’s repeated action. If you’re willing to carry responsibility and make the tough calls, then lead. The world needs more leaders who actually lead.

Following Is Not Weakness, it’s discipline: Somewhere along the way, “following” became an insult. That’s ridiculous. Strong teams require strong followers: people who execute, support, reinforce, and enable momentum. In Special Forces, we had a brutal truth: A team of leaders who refuse to follow is a team that dies. Following well is a skill. It requires:

Trust: Not blind trust: earned trust. The willingness to support the mission even if you personally would have done things differently.

Execution: Followers aren’t passive. They drive the mission forward with action, speed, and discipline. They take initiative with intent. They don’t wait to be spoon-fed tasks.

Accountability: Followers hold themselves to the standard without needing applause. They value results more than recognition. The best followers often become the best leaders because they understand the mechanics of execution before they start giving others direction. If you’re in a role where someone else is leading, then follow (with energy, accuracy, and pride). It’s not beneath you. It’s how greatness is built.

Getting the Hell out of the way is a leadership skill too: This is the part people choke on. Sometimes the best thing you can do for your team, your project, or your organization is to step aside. Not quit. Not sulk. Not sabotage. Just move out of the way.

Here’s when that’s the right move:

When You Can’t Commit: If you’re not willing to fully own the mission, don’t pretend you are. Half-committed contributors destroy momentum.

When You’re Blocking Progress: If you’re slowing down decision-making, complicating processes, or injecting your ego into the work, step back. Your value isn’t in preserving control: it’s in enabling movement.

When Someone Else Is Better Equipped: This one requires humility. Not everything needs your fingerprints on it. If someone else has the expertise, the bandwidth, or the fire to drive it, let them run. Getting out of the way is not failure. It’s maturity. It’s awareness. It’s the refusal to make the mission about you. And ironically, knowing when to step aside is one of the most respected leadership behaviors in elite teams.

Let’s be brutally honest. There’s a fourth category most people fall into: “I’ll sit here, do nothing, and hope no one notices.”

This is the professional version of hiding behind a tree while pretending to be tactical.

These are the people who: Attend every meeting but never contribute. Wait for direction instead of seeking clarity. Offer opinions but never solutions. Deflect blame and hoard credit. Slow projects down with fear, insecurity, or apathy

These individuals are organizational cholesterol. They clog the arteries. They create drag. They make everything harder for everyone else.

If that’s you, here’s the good news: You can change today. But it starts with choosing a lane.

Teams collapse when roles blur. Teams accelerate when roles sharpen.

When everyone knows where they stand (through CLARITY) leader, follower, or stepping aside…two things happen fast:

1. Communication Improves: People stop talking around problems and start addressing them. Meetings shrink. Decisions speed up. Alignment becomes natural, not forced.

2. Ownership Increases: When you know your lane, you own your lane. There’s no hiding. No ambiguity. No excuses.

This is why elite teams outperform average ones. Not because they’re smarter, because they’re clear.

But too few people know how to choose their lane without lying to themselves. This requires honesty: real honesty, not the sanitized kind that makes you feel good. Ask yourself:

Do I want responsibility or influence? Wanting influence is fine. But influence without responsibility is manipulation. Pick one.

B. Am I prepared to take the hit if this goes wrong? If the answer is no, you’re not ready to lead.

C. Do I trust the person leading me? If yes, follow them well. If no, either step up or step out.

D. What does the mission actually need from me right now? Not what you want to give. What is needed.

Your role is determined by the mission, not your ego.

Organizations that enforce the spirit of “Lead, follow, or get the hell out of the way” experience a cultural shift that is impossible to ignore.

Speed Increases: Decisions no longer die on conference calls. Execution actually happens. Bottlenecks disappear.

Accountability Rises: No one can hide when roles are clear. That alone eliminates a massive amount of dysfunction.

Morale Improves: People want to be part of a winning team—but winning requires clarity, responsibility, and momentum. This creates pride, cohesion, and energy.

Toxicity Evaporates: The people who thrive on gossip, delay, bureaucracy, and ego find themselves exposed. They either adapt… or they exit.

Leaders Actually Lead: When followers follow and obstacles move aside, leaders can spend their time building, guiding, and improving: not babysitting grown adults.

This is what high-performance cultures feel like. It’s not perfection. It’s momentum.

Professionals love to talk about leadership. They love the quotes, the books, the conferences.

But at some point, you have to stop consuming leadership content and start choosing a damn role. So here’s my challenge: Today (right now), identify the projects, people, and priorities in your world. For each one, pick your lane.

Are you leading? Are you following? Or do you need to get the hell out of the way?

No excuses. No ambiguity. No spectators.

The world has enough seat-warmers. It needs more decision-makers, more executors, more professionals willing to move missions forward instead of complaining about the traffic.

Lead. Follow. Or get the hell out of the way.

That clarity might just be the difference between a stalled career and a successful one… between frustration and momentum… between noise and real impact.

And here’s the blunt truth: If you don’t choose your lane, someone will choose it for you. (And you’re not going to like the one they pick.)

By Scott Kinder|2025-12-12T14:19:38-05:00December 8th, 2025|Scott's Thoughts|

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About the Author: Scott Kinder

I founded DOL Coaching in a desire to continue my service to others after decades of service in the federal government, military service, and civilian employ. I’m a Special Forces combat veteran (18C MOS), former civil servant and executive with roles across a multitude of industries (from Wall Street to internet startups to consulting). People who know me will tell you I’m passionate about helping those around me grow and prosper.

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