If you’re serious about building your next career, you need to get serious about meeting people, building relationships, and asking for help. When it comes to military transition, there’s one thing I hammer harder than anything else: Network, network, network.

I’ll say it bluntly: the number one factor that separates veterans who land high-quality jobs and opportunities from those who stumble is networking. Not résumés. Not job boards. Networking.

The problem is, many veterans approach networking like a bad staff briefing (awkward, too formal, and with no real objective).

Or worse, they avoid it entirely because they’re “too proud” or “don’t want to bother anyone.” That pride will keep you unemployed or underemployed. You can’t lone-wolf your way through transition. You’ve got to use your network.

In this edition of Frag Out, we’re going deep on what effective networking really looks like, how to do it the right way, and why authenticity (not fake LinkedIn smiles or transactional outreach) is the key to success.

When you’re in uniform, opportunity often comes through orders, assignments, or the needs of the unit. You don’t have to “network” your way into your next deployment. Someone tells you where to be, you show up, and you execute.

Civilian life doesn’t work like that. Jobs, contracts, partnerships, and business opportunities flow through people. Through relationships.

Most jobs aren’t even posted publicly. And the ones that are? They get buried under a thousand résumés, most of which never get seen. You know who skips the line? The person who gets introduced by someone on the inside. The one who hears about the opportunity before it’s posted. The one who has a champion already vouching for them.

That’s networking. And that’s why I’ll repeat it until I’m blue in the face: you can never network enough.

Let’s be real. Veterans often struggle with networking for three main reasons:

Pride. Too many veterans think asking for help is a sign of weakness. “I’ll figure it out myself.” Great mindset in combat. Terrible strategy in transition.

Lack of practice. We’re used to formal relationships defined by rank, MOS, and billets. We’re not used to having to build connections in open-ended civilian contexts.

Transactional mindset. Some vets only reach out when they need a job and make it feel like a one-sided ask. That burns bridges faster than thermite.

The fix? Drop the pride, embrace humility, and learn to approach networking like you approached building relationships in a new AO. You wouldn’t go into a village, demand something, and leave. You’d build rapport, listen, and find mutual ground. The same rules apply here.

Here’s where most vets blow it. They think networking is about putting on a fake smile and pitching themselves like a used car salesman.

Wrong. Networking only works if you’re authentic.

Authenticity means:

Be real. Don’t try to sound like a corporate robot. Talk like a human. Share your real story.  Don’t treat it like an interview or a podcast.  You are getting to know them, not getting an article ready for the local high school newspaper.

Admit what you don’t know. Nobody expects you to understand civilian lingo or industries right away. Own it.  That’s the only way you learn.

Be clear about what you want. If you’re exploring options, say so. If you’re looking for introductions, ask directly.

People respect honesty. They can smell BS from a mile away. The fastest way to ruin your reputation is to pretend to be something you’re not. The fastest way to build credibility is to be open, curious, and genuine.

One of the biggest mistakes veterans make while networking is not asking for help. They think they’re just supposed to “connect” and hope something magically happens. Wrong.

When you meet someone, you should always ask for one of two things:

A. An introduction to others. “Who else do you think I should be talking to?” This is gold. It multiplies your network. It’s how one coffee turns into ten.  And how ten turn into a hundred.

B. Direct help. “Would you be willing to recommend me for that role?” or “Can you help me understand how to navigate this industry?”

Too many vets walk away from great conversations without making the ask. That’s pride (or stupidity) talking. If you don’t ask, you don’t get. Period.

The way you connect matters. Text and email are fine for setting up conversations, but when it comes to building relationships, video wins.

Why? Because humans are wired to respond to faces and body language. Over 50% of communication is nonverbal. If you’re just a voice on the phone, you’re missing out on a massive layer of connection.

Video calls (Zoom, Signal, FaceTime) let people see you. They can feel your presence. They remember you better. And as veterans, our ability to read body language and project confidence is a huge advantage. Use it.

Now, in-person beats everything, but not every contact will be local or convenient. That’s why I advise: prioritize video over phone whenever you can.

Let’s break down exactly how to network effectively. Think of it like a mission: you need a plan, execution, and follow-up.

Step 1: Identify Targets

Networking without focus is like conducting a patrol without a map. You’ll just wander around.

Start by identifying who you want to meet: Veterans in your desired industry, hiring managers/recruiters, alumni from your school or unit, thought leaders in your field, and local business owners or community leaders.

Use LinkedIn as your map. It’s the single best platform for professional networking.

Step 2: Make Contact

Reach out with authenticity. Don’t send some stiff, copy-paste LinkedIn request. Instead, say something like:

“[Name], I’m transitioning out of the Army and exploring opportunities in [field]. I’d really value a chance to learn about your experience and perspective. Would you be open to a 20-minute video chat?”

Short, clear, and honest. That’s it.

Step 3: Conduct the Meeting

This is where you need to be disciplined. Keep it to 20 minutes. Have an agenda, but stay flexible. A solid framework:

Thank them for their time.

Share your story BRIEFLY.

Ask questions about their journey.

Listen more than you talk.

Close with an ask: introduction or help.

Step 4: Follow Up

Following up is where 80% of vets fail. They think one meeting is enough. Wrong. Send a thank-you note within 24 hours. Reference something specific from the conversation.

Then, stay in touch. Share an article, update them on your progress, or simply check in every couple of months. Relationships are built over time, not in one-off calls.

Let’s talk about the gear. You wouldn’t go on an operation without the right kit, and you shouldn’t network without the right tools.

LinkedIn. Your primary AO. Optimize your profile, connect with everyone you meet, and post routinely to stay visible.

Zoom/FaceTime. Use video for most conversations.

Calendly (or similar). Makes scheduling easy. No endless email ping-pong.

CRM or spreadsheet. Track who you’ve talked to, when, and what the follow-up is. If you don’t, you’ll drop balls.

Now let’s get tactical. Here are the principles that will set you apart:

Quality over quantity. Don’t just collect connections. Build real ones.

Give before you ask. Share knowledge, introductions, or resources whenever you can.  Remember this is a two-way street.

Be curious. Ask good questions, not fake interview ones.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard, “So, Scott, how did you get into the field of project management, and where do you see it going in the next ten years?” Never forget that people love talking about themselves.

Stay humble. Don’t brag about your service. Mention it, but focus on learning.

Play the long game. Relationships pay off over years, not weeks.

Networking isn’t just a transition activity. It’s a lifelong discipline. Whether you’re looking for your first civilian role, starting a business, or ten years into a career, networking is how opportunities flow.

Think of it like PT. You don’t do push-ups once and call it good. You keep training. Same with networking. Keep building relationships, even when you don’t “need” them. Because one day, you will.

I’ve seen both sides.

One veteran I know treated networking like a checklist item. He blasted LinkedIn messages, did a few calls, and thought that was enough. When he needed a job, his “network” evaporated. Why? Because it was shallow.

Another vet invested time building real relationships. He asked for introductions, followed up, and stayed engaged. When he started job hunting, he had three offers in two weeks. All from referrals.

The difference wasn’t skills. It was networking.

If you take one thing from this newsletter, it’s this: you can never network enough.

Transition is not about résumés, job boards, or waiting for someone to notice you. It’s about building a web of relationships that open doors, provide insight, and accelerate your path.

But you have to do it authentically. Drop the pride. Ask for help. Use video. Follow up. And most of all, keep at it.

Networking isn’t a one-time event. It’s a way of life. If you embrace it, you’ll thrive in transition and in every chapter that follows.